For a while I am thinking about how to understand BDSM better. I am meeting a lot of BDSM positive people of all genders and all preferences, and I noted that most people can be sorted into one of two following categories. None of this categories is a priori better or worse.
Type 1: BDSM first
This types of people have usually early childhood (pre-pubertal) dreams about BDSM activities. They played with other kids games like cops and thieves, cowboys and indians... hoping that they end up as captives (or those who catch prisoners...). Later these people discovered their sex orientations and other kinks. So e.g. boy dreaming about beeing prisoner and later discover that he is hetero ..he seeks naturally Dominant women to have an unequal relationship... however his submisive needs goes beyond a sex orientation and therefore he is able to be submissive also to a Dominant men.
The same is valid for a dominant person. He/she wants to dominate over others, regardless their gender, althoug a sex preference affects the way of interaction. So e.g. dominant lesbian woman can humiliate a male, although a certain level of intimacy she would share only with other female.
This BDSM first types of people can be described rathed as bixexual, or pansexual while some also require certain level of a mental connection. I also see that people in this category have more tendecy to live BDSM style rather than play sessions in On/Off mode.
Type 2: Sex orientation first
People in this group typically started discovering their sex orientation and preferences and later realized that they have also a taste for BDSM. For this category is unimaginable to have an interaction with a gender outside their preferences. So e.g. gay man accepts only a male counterpart for a BDSM interaction, although that male doesn't have to be a gay, but being a male is a condition.
People in this category see a sex part of the BDSM interaction as more important. I would say that a majority in this group prefer On/Off playing interactions.
Of course, there can be a lot "in between"... but for me, it is very helpful to understand which type is a sub asking for a lesson with me. I like both types... I like diversity and broad BDSM tastes... But I also like clasification and sorting for reaching a better understanding.
So, what type are you?