I receive a lot of messages from people who want to try to be submissive....but they have doubts or they are not able to have a real experience. I realized that I can sort them into a few categories. This text is not intended as the offence...on the contrary… I would like to help them to experience a real joy and happiness coming from living their BDSM dreams. So here is my sorting, my opinions and my advice to each group. Sorting does'nt cover types of subs who are experienced and active.

1. Shy boys.

You are too shy to address a Dom or Master you like, you hope that quick visit of his profile attract His attention, you think that tiny hints you left somewhere will cause that the Mr. RightMaster will find you and enslave you or He will be your loving Dom hubby. If you somehow manage to have a conversation with Him, you never send a message again, because you think He will write if He is interested in you.

Comment:

Any average and above average Master is constantly contacted by many subs or slaves. He spend a lot of time sorting them and finding right boys for Him… He rarely has a need to actively seek and contact every single sub-profile. He sometimes forget who wrote him a message and about (Try to remember all these unforgetable nicks and what they wrote you).

Advice:

Do you think you found or met a prospective Dom/Master? – contact Him and keep the communication channel alive until it is clear if there is a potential or not. Before you do that, clarify for yourself, what kind of Dom/Master you seek… and think what kind of sub/slave this Man would prefer...

2. Ugly boys
You think you are not enough tall, short, young, old, skinny, muscular, fat, not fat, with too big or too short cock...whatever imperfection you can create... and because of that, you think that Master would never be interested in you.
Comment:
Nobody is perfect
Advice:
Let Him decide if you are perfect or not. Do not "predict" His opinion or preferences.

3. Paranoid guys.

You know that a privacy is a luxury and you know that our private space is becoming lesser and lesser. F*ck these technologies which enables to track everything you do… And you don't want leave traces because either a) you have a partner, career, family whatever or b) you don't what to let the government and companies gather data about you. Thinking about BDSM experience... you are trapped, what if Dom/Master would blackmail you? So you use VPN, cover-names… and you don't know how to meet with a living person and eliminate of risk of being exposed, blackmailed etc.

Comment:

Privacy is the issue, but common sense can minimize risk.

Advice

Find a professional Master. He will be discreet, sane, safe, consensual. Maybe, once you will explore this BDSM world you will find out that risks are lower than you thought (I am talking about a human invasion to your privacy... sure you phone is traced anyway).

4. Scared subs

You are desperately attracted by the idea of submission or even a slavery, but you are scared that once you give up control, someone can really harm you.

Comment:

It can happen, if you choose an abuser instead of Dom/Master

Advice:

Meet real people from BDSM community (I do not mean meet them in the darkroom of a gay bar), talk with them and gain experiences and contacts. Insist on a "talking meeting" before a "playing meeting". Or find a professional Master. Both choices could guarantee you that you will experience sane, safe and consensual BDSM. Note: go online is not a solution.

5. Obstacle seekers

What a shame that you live so far; oh you live too close to me; My partner is really jealous; I have no money for travelling or sharing costs, I never pay for my sex entertainment (message to pro Doms); I don't have a place; I think we do not match (after a month of the chat...10 min before the first meeting); I will wait till the covid will be over, I am sick; I am busy; I have family, pets and cactuses,…

Comment:

Everybody has obstacles, if you want something, you have to overcome that. If you don't want to do that… then watch a porn and preferably pay to authors to encourage them to make more videos.

Advice:

Accept what you cannot change and change what is changeable… Wanna live BDSM? Than do something for it… your time on the earth is limited.. and you are not going to be younger.

6. Perfect look Master seekers

Master, do you have a huge cock? I love your muscles... you are sooo Dominant. Based on your look on pic xy you are true Aplha... Master, is it a problem that my cock is not tiny/huge... coz I read that a slave should have a tiny/huge cock…? I would never submit to an old/short/bald/vegetable eater… Dom… because true Dom looks differently (use your definition).

Comment:

You are right… and a true Master looks always impressively. He spread his seed 24/7 and he is constantly wearing cool (fit your fetish) … dresses.

Advice:

Wanna live that? Meet real people. Real people are not perfect as you are not perfect. I promise you… one real experience with real and good Dom will delete all that crap from you. Live it! It is better

7. Porn brainwashed slaves

You have spent hundreds of hours, maybe a decade or entire life in dreaming about slavery. You deeply feel the inner call be a slave. The older you are, the strong the voice is. You already thought about every single detail of your slavery and you are looking for 24/7 TPE, TCL, CNC, no-way-out-whatever Master. Unfortunately you have a lack of experiences and the internet is full of crap… you believe in a lot of „true slave rules“, which are posted and reposted for ages... And of course... so amazing pics and vids are on the internet and you can easily dream about beeing on that subs' places...
Maybe when you tried to get a real experience you were suprised that there are no crowds of horny dominants who are craving for using of one sub.  Maybe you were disappointed that bondage need some time to look cool on pic or that be chained into a stress position is not possible take for 10 mins although you have asked for overnight experience...

Comment:

I think that some people a born to be slaves/subs/servants (lets skip a broad spectrum of definitions) and born to be happy in slavery... including e.g. . living in TPE. But it is a journey. Nobody can jump from zero to hero. No one can shift from a free human to a TPE, CNC slave next day (after a few messages and the „initial inspection“).

Advice:

Learn walk before you run. Start with one hour lesson. Find a Dom/Master or pay for a lesson with pro Master… Go on… meet real people, take more lessons, find BDSM+ friends, discover what you like and what you dislike. Establish a D/s relationship.. which does not mean immediately living together and providing all bank account passwords…. Continue… and you will see what works for you. Maybe you online like BDSM games....maby you are natural slave... but you need time to discover it.

8. A man in the middle of the universe

Master,  I like, I want, I need, I think, I insist, I have, You must,… Well, there are people with submissive dreams who actually act very dominantly, when they try to fit a Dom into their needs. I always have a good laugh when a "slave" teach me what I as a Dom want and how I should be served (he knows it better then me).

Comment:

It's ok to be a bit selfish, but if you want to have an interaction with other people you should accept that these people also have preferences. But yes, there is a certain probability that you will find exactly what you want and you can also win the jackpot in a lottery.

Advice:

If you seek a Dom/Master as a partner; change you attitude. If you are looking only for a  play, than consider a pro Master, but note, good professional Masters are like good actors… they do not take every film role which is offered to them.

9. BDSM experts and smart asses

you have read everything and you think that knowledge and your smart (no irony) mind can replace real experiences. E.g. you like piss because you swallowed a glass of yours... You pretend experiences because you don't want to be embarrased by admitting you have none or a few. Or you know you are 24/7 TPE slave because one hour lesson and the fact that vanilla relationships are not for you. This cause either you are denied by a Dom/Master as a pretender before any lesson or worse you will fail during a real BDSM lesson or interaction because you will be too scared, nevous or discover that actually you are not into what you tought and explicitely wanted.

Comment:

Do not pretend experiences, regradless of your age... Do not go from zero to extreme while skipping "average" experiences. The only thing you gain by this will be your own (and also a Dom's/Master's) dissapointment.

Advice:

Be honest about what you did and what didn't. A sane Dom/Master will take your experiences into consideration. And if a Dom/Master reject you because of lack of experiences... good for you; He was not the right one for you.

10. Online slaves
Even before a covid times some people stay only online (because of a fear, shyness, privacy issues) ... lockdowns encouraged it... But lets make it clear... online play is a game and fantasy only... You can never replace any real experience with an online play...never. So you have to choose... stay online (its ok especially if you take BDSM as an occasional relax), but admit to yourself thats just another type of a PC game... or go to a real world (esp. if you have deep submissive need in your mind, going beyond hornines and cum....)
Comment:
Think a bit.... who are these online Masters? Do you think that they are real Masters with real experieces, which instead of having a real fun they sit in front of a camera and wank during your online lessons? Do you think that their advice, opinions and "standards" have a real base?
Advice:
Do not waste your time online, enjoy your real life while you can... you can go back online when you will be really old or too sick for a real fun.

Executive summary

Wanna have a real BDSM experience or wanna have more experiences? Than do something for it… your time on the Earth is limited.. and you are not going to be younger.

Warning and disclaimer

This is my opinion, if you disagree, I am OK with that... but I will sleep well anyway.

If you have a headache because my of English, I am sorry, but my mom didn't managed me a native English speaking dad.

Quote me if you want to use this text. Thank you

Your comments are welcomed via email (or twitter).

Master Dansan, Janurary 2022